I believe that for most online people this is the first, most urgent, issue. The article I wrote on What to do when he/she leaves? is far and away the most sought out. It has been the top read article every month for over five years. I like its success.

While it seems to come first, I really thought you would benefit more from having the Lizard material under your belt. I think you will see this when in the papers I mention Panic - read Lizard. I open the topic now because it just seems to flow from AntigoneRisen's note on Topic 1: Friend your Lizard(s).

I believe that here is the whole problem of Abandonment and its solutions.

For this topic I want you to have the background of several articles. They're not as long as the Lizard paper. They are all articles on the Skills of Reliable Membership.

The first paper I used to call The Two Wall Problem, but now it is simply called Reliable Membership. A chart goes with the paper.

The second paper I suggest you look at is a more indepth look at the problem. It is called The Testicle Principle, and when you've read it you may see why I prefer talking to online people rather than your partners at home.

Curiously I haven't found any writings by anyone else about this topic. I am still looking.

Read away and come back with your observations, ideas, examples.


Principles are simple. Applying them is a tough U-Do-It project. Go 4 it!
Al Turtle