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BR: Books/Articles Geared Towards Men #2118
09/10/10 04:30 PM
09/10/10 04:30 PM
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OurHouse Offline OP
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OurHouse  Offline OP
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In the THUNDERDOME (LOL, love that name...) someone noted that almost all the relationship books seemed to be written for a female point of view. Makes partial sense, since women do seem to be the majority keepers of the emotional part of a relationship. That's not meant as a slam on guys.. I think it's just how the sexes are wired.

Anyway, some discussion ensued and some good book suggestions were made, and rather than have the rest of the board miss some good discussion trying to avoid a potentially contentious thread, I offered to try to get the discussion going over here.

To recap, and hopefully Larry, et al will cut and paste their own posts...I didn't want to do that!....

Catperson spoke about a book she'd read about improving marriage from a male point of view.

And 2Long suggested another book.

2Long, Larry, Cat..could you please cut/paste your posts to get the discussion going over here? Here's my cut/paste:

****** RE: Book recommendations**********

Any advice from you Y chromosomes out there on how to recommend a husband read such a book as "Better Men", or "Grow Up!"???

Maybe we should take this convo to the book section and start a thread on "books for men".

I'll copy/paste this post over there. Perhaps that will get the discussion going.

Re: BR: Books/Articles Geared Towards Men [Re: OurHouse] #2178
09/10/10 07:08 PM
09/10/10 07:08 PM
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weaves Offline
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Ourhouse, my H wouldn't read "Grow Up" by Pitman. He said he would, read the first page, and then said "no thanks".

If you want to know the truth, I am done trying to educate my H. I find it just doesn't work, trying to educate a grown man. If he wants to change, he will and not until the pain is big enough that he has to.

I am okay, now, but I am glad he is gone and I don't have to rely on him any longer, or get my hopes up, or quite frankly try to get him to look at himself and his independent behavior. I hope he grows, as I am trying to. And I hope we have a future, and I try to remain positive, but seeing you here doing what I did ever since I got married...

But then I'm not a guy so maybe I approached the whole thing all wrong. Good topic, however.

Did he ask for suggestions on books? Is he open to them?

Re: BR: Books/Articles Geared Towards Men [Re: weaves] #2189
09/10/10 08:09 PM
09/10/10 08:09 PM
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weaves Offline
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"Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge (sp) is a good book by a man written for men.

Pep, on the other board had a pretty good, looong thread going about it that a lot of the men contributed to. So, I think they must have identified with it somewhat, and seemed to like it.

What I always have to remember, though, is that the men on these boards are looking at themselves in an honest way, taking responsibility and trying to have a great R.




Re: BR: Books/Articles Geared Towards Men [Re: weaves] #2190
09/10/10 08:12 PM
09/10/10 08:12 PM
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OurHouse Offline OP
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Weaves (and MEDC), no...he doesn't ask for suggestions and he has/will respond much the same way as your H (exH?).

I'm not asking the question for my own benefit, actually. I thought I would throw it out there because we got onto this topic o the Marriage Builders thread and it seems like it could be a great source of info for the right people.

I'm pretty resigned too. If he changes, he changes, if not, he doesn't. In the meantime, I'm really trying to concentrate on my side of the street, which includes guarding my own sanity right now, as well as keeping myself out of the depression hell-hole where he seems to be. I'm not really prone to depression, but I have had on/off problems with anxiety and panic attacks going back about 20 years (starting..hmmm...6 months after I got married, moved and started a new job, all at once!), so I really have to take care of myself in that regard so that I don't get all agoraphobic again. I spent almost a year terrified to leave my house. I *never* *ever* want to go back there again.

Re: BR: Books/Articles Geared Towards Men [Re: OurHouse] #2197
09/10/10 08:27 PM
09/10/10 08:27 PM
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weaves Offline
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Not ex, but we are living in separate houses. He left on his own accord, but I was relieved, because it was so stressful to live with him.

Although it hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination, learning how to live alone but still be married, I think you both get to a point where you have to make changes because life has gotten either too hard or too crazy, together.

Living with a depressed man would be an incredibly difficult task. Living with any depressed spouse would be.

Maybe he needs to be shocked into taking action and responsibility. It seems like most of the men on these forums have been shocked (sometimes to their core) into making their changes and trying to become great husbands. (I mean those who weren't and who needed to make changes)




Last edited by weaves; 09/10/10 08:28 PM.

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