I'm quiet this weekend, and *supposed* to be taking an MA holiday, but I do want to say I am finding this discussion very thought provoking. I think a thread, article, or something would be very useful to a lot of people. Construction Zone might work-- if it is clear an article is under development we can separate out nasty or contentions meta and keep it relatively clean.
Last edited by Chrysalis; 04/01/1211:27 PM. Reason: spelling
First, Marlowe, I always thoroughly enjoy your posts.
Second, and this is slightly off topic...but I want to say publicly how much I appreciate the way you are such a....supportive and just....regular good man spouse to a woman with an illness. I NEVER ever feel "defective" as a woman with bipolar when you talk about the disease, and that is a wonderful thing.
Thank you so much for seeing your wife as a wife/woman/person who happens to have a condition. It gives ME hope.
interesting stuff here... i was the WW. i made the CHOICE to cheat. i could have just as well made the CHOICE to leave-- but i didn't want to leave (i was basically happy in my M). i can't even say that i had a mental condition that would "warrant" my unkind behaviour-- unless stupidity counts as a mental condition.
anyway, good read. thanks for the info.
may came home with a smooth round stone as small as a world and as large as alone. -- e. e. cummings
I wish to explore the role that age and menopause play in the decision to have an affair.
I'm quite certain those factored into my decision. My "last hurrah". My need to feel attractive for what I knew -- I knew would be the very last time.
My IC commented last week that he recalled when I was going in for the mastectomy I told him one thing I was losing was the fact that I could always count on being cute.
That is obviously over with my disfigurement, but my series of events brings into stark relief in my mind how having an affair took the place of grieving my loss of beauty, vitality, fertility, maternity -- those things that defined me.
And now I'm what? A dried up, scarred hag? I don't have a persona to replace the one that aged out of the system.
I think that's a valid question, LadyGrey, and under-discussed. There have been entire libraries written about men and the influence of mid-life crises over fidelity, but so little attention paid to women (unless you count dreck like _The Bridges of Madison County_.)