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Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: right here waiting] #220332
04/01/12 11:27 PM
04/01/12 11:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,690
SoCal
Chrysalis Offline
Global Moderator
Chrysalis  Offline
Global Moderator
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,690
SoCal
I'm quiet this weekend, and *supposed* to be taking an MA holiday, but I do want to say I am finding this discussion very thought provoking. I think a thread, article, or something would be very useful to a lot of people. Construction Zone might work-- if it is clear an article is under development we can separate out nasty or contentions meta and keep it relatively clean.

Last edited by Chrysalis; 04/01/12 11:27 PM. Reason: spelling

Chrysalis
Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: Chrysalis] #220365
04/02/12 12:54 AM
04/02/12 12:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
Member
herfuturesbright  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
First, Marlowe, I always thoroughly enjoy your posts.

Second, and this is slightly off topic...but I want to say publicly how much I appreciate the way you are such a....supportive and just....regular good man spouse to a woman with an illness. I NEVER ever feel "defective" as a woman with bipolar when you talk about the disease, and that is a wonderful thing.

Thank you so much for seeing your wife as a wife/woman/person who happens to have a condition. It gives ME hope.

Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: herfuturesbright] #220455
04/02/12 02:44 AM
04/02/12 02:44 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,569
New Zealand
Lil Offline OP

Member
Lil  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,569
New Zealand
Could we start them (MArlows and LG's new threads) after Easter since LG and I are going to be bunny'd until then?


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
Infidelity Guide For The Betrayed Spouse


Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: right here waiting] #222380
04/08/12 03:05 AM
04/08/12 03:05 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,747
T
Telly Offline
Member
Telly  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,747
Oh my goodness,

Firstly, Marlowe, you wrote some of the most interesting stuff I have read here on MA.

Thank you so much.

Secondly, Fergie, your picture of Orson Wells clapping without end is a little creepy. If I stop looking at this page, will he still be clapping? Unwatched? Clapping vigorously into eternity?


Married 13 years
D10
D5
Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: Telly] #226495
04/22/12 07:26 PM
04/22/12 07:26 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,344
O
ohmy_marie Offline
Member
ohmy_marie  Offline
Member
O
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,344
interesting stuff here... i was the WW. i made the CHOICE to cheat. i could have just as well made the CHOICE to leave-- but i didn't want to leave (i was basically happy in my M). i can't even say that i had a mental condition that would "warrant" my unkind behaviour-- unless stupidity counts as a mental condition.

anyway, good read. thanks for the info.


may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone. -- e. e. cummings
Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: right here waiting] #226554
04/23/12 01:58 AM
04/23/12 01:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,657
L
LadyGrey Offline
Professional Attorney
LadyGrey  Offline
Professional Attorney
L
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,657
I wish to explore the role that age and menopause play in the decision to have an affair.

I'm quite certain those factored into my decision. My "last hurrah". My need to feel attractive for what I knew -- I knew would be the very last time.

My IC commented last week that he recalled when I was going in for the mastectomy I told him one thing I was losing was the fact that I could always count on being cute.

That is obviously over with my disfigurement, but my series of events brings into stark relief in my mind how having an affair took the place of grieving my loss of beauty, vitality, fertility, maternity -- those things that defined me.

And now I'm what? A dried up, scarred hag? I don't have a persona to replace the one that aged out of the system.



Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: LadyGrey] #226680
04/23/12 07:43 PM
04/23/12 07:43 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 272
M
Marlowe Offline
Member
Marlowe  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 272
I think that's a valid question, LadyGrey, and under-discussed. There have been entire libraries written about men and the influence of mid-life crises over fidelity, but so little attention paid to women (unless you count dreck like _The Bridges of Madison County_.)

Re: When The Wife Has The Affair [Re: Marlowe] #226776
04/24/12 06:42 AM
04/24/12 06:42 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,407
Not quite here
Squeaky Tree Offline
Member
Squeaky Tree  Offline
Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,407
Not quite here
It certainly didn't make a play in my decision.


Married 22years (this year) ~13y since dday(?)
DD17 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
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