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The Difference Between Cheating and Infidelity?
#2357
09/11/10 02:37 PM
09/11/10 02:37 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,010
star*fish
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OP
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Posts: 4,010
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Wow...I just found this very interesting article, and I'd love to hear thoughts from you guys. Infidelity, in general, is marked by confusion, pain, doubt, ambivalence and a period of craziness in a person's life.
Cheating is an ongoing lifestyle http://break-free-from-the-affair.com/new/affair-articles/drbob/signs_of_cheating_spouse.htmI think the distinction is very interesting.
"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
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Re: The Difference Between Cheating and Infidelity?
[Re: star*fish]
#4756
09/19/10 04:11 AM
09/19/10 04:11 AM
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tinkerbell
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tinkerbell
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Re: The Difference Between Cheating and Infidelity?
[Re: ]
#4771
09/19/10 05:16 AM
09/19/10 05:16 AM
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381 Texas
Larry
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Joined: Sep 2010
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Tinkerbell: So, infidelity isn't supposed to be as bad...like cheating is the way they are
Adultery is horrible. Infidelity is an abomination. Affairs betray any notion of honor, ethics, morals or character. Cheating devastates the betrayed spouse and the children. Whatever you call it betrays the family, the extended family, co-workers, friends, and yes, the affairees often end up betraying each other.
And yes, sometimes it is because they are who they are, or they slide into it and get infatuated and don't know how to get out of it, or whatever. The seeds of adultery is in most folks, which by no means is permission to do the deed.
Affairs happen in roughly 70-80% of marriages, it has been said. Roughly 50% of men and about the same percentage for women cheat at some point. Someone can debate the exact numbers, but the damage cannot be debated.
and infidelity they have lost their minds for a time?
Yes, sometimes. Remember from your youth and crushes and infatuations? My yes did not in any way imply that I approve. Obviously I don't. Where I am going is to deal in facts. By understanding why someone cheats, and the head games they play with themselves, you can form a plan to defeat the cheating and restore the family, if you want to. We can help. Ok, well, either one has destroyed my marriage and my girls family, my family, his family only he forgot us. [color:#660000]Yep, he sure did. He made his choice. Now you have a choice. Learn enough to defeat the enemy - the adultery - or go to divorce court. Up to you. I will direct the rest of my comments to you on your own thread I think he is in the infidelity, do you know we went to eat and I went to the bathroom (this was when we were working on us) and when I came back to the table he didn't recognise me, he actually said he didn't that I looked so different, since I had dyed my hair and looked better. Oh gee, sorry I actually look better now that I am not on deaths door so much in my cancer treatment. [/quote] Larry
It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.
My old email address no longer works.
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Re: The Difference Between Cheating and Infidelity?
[Re: Larry]
#4772
09/19/10 05:27 AM
09/19/10 05:27 AM
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381 Texas
Larry
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381
Texas
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IN my opinion, there are several types of adulterers.
1. Entitlement - as described in the article. Call it serial cheating, serial infidelity, serial adultery, whatever. This type of person should NOT marry. But they do. Sometimes it is a buffer so those they have affairs with can be presented with the excuse that the serial narcissist is married and has to stay in the marriage [here insert the prepared speech]. Bob Hope is an example of such a person.
2. Romantic - see the 12 (or whatever number) steps to an affair - presented in different places with different numbers. Or, an abused wife looking for a White Chump Knight, or a woman looking for the next security plan before bailing on the old one they are tired of, or Michelle Langley's excuses. Take your pick.
3. Opportunity - ONS, the old saw about the Teacher in Cancun on vacation with the girls, the businessman traveling, the wife at home while he does, military affairs, yada yada.
4. Thrill seeking - see all the above with special emphasis on Langley's excuses expressed biological reasons. Basically both a lack of character/boundaries coupled with a fear to do it very often.
I don't buy what Dr. Bob is trying to sell in one detail. There isn't a hill of beans difference. Trying to parse the words is a sales technique to get people to read the article, which is spot on detailing one aspect of adultery.
And as lots of experts say, it really is a lack of boundaries. It is also a lack of respect for anyone but themselves at the time and depending on which type above.
It is also dirt stupid.
Larry
Last edited by Larry; 09/19/10 05:30 AM.
It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.
My old email address no longer works.
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