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Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! #252729
08/18/12 05:48 PM
08/18/12 05:48 PM
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Lil Offline OP

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Posted with permission

Quote:
Itís interesting how many men react to their wifeís adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple donít understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. Itís always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of ďpushing her further awayĒ. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they wonít even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to ďassault the ambushĒ mentality. Donít hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And heís hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you ďIf you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!Ē, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

ďYouíre right honey. Iím sorry. I just donít want to push you further away. Iíll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.Ē

I donít know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?

Last edited by lildoggie; 08/18/12 05:50 PM.

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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #252730
08/18/12 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted By: Chrisner
The house catches on fire in the night. A man scrambles to get his wife and children safely out at whatever peril.

The boat capsizes in deep water. A man scrambles to get his wife and children secured to the hull until rescue.

A vicious dog attacks the family at a park during their picnic. A man inserts himself between his family and the dog at whatever risk and takes it out with a salad fork.

The front door is kicked in by home invaders. A man barricades his family and sets up his defensive position to the death if necessary with his Les Baer 1911 Premier II Super-Tac .45. (I gotta get one!)

The manís wife commits adultery with the intent of taking everything she can get including the kids to spend the rest of their life with her sole mate and the man meekly launders a load of her new sheer panty and lingerie collection and then slinks away into the spare bedroom. Because doing anything else is too scary.

sigh

Last edited by lildoggie; 08/18/12 05:51 PM.

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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #252731
08/18/12 05:49 PM
08/18/12 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: Chrisner
the term "assault the ambush" was widely used in Vietnam and from the Camp Lejeune 2008 USMC FMST Student Manual on Patrolling:

Immediate Action Drills - there are times when contact with the enemy is unexpected. For this we have immediate action drills.

Hasty Ambush - used when you see the enemy before being seen. You quickly move into a concealed area and engage the enemy or allow them to pass.

Danger Area - is where the patrol is vulnerable to the enemy observation and/or fire (roads, open areas).

Immediate Assault - used when you are caught in a near ambush. Turn in the direction of the ambush and assault the ambush.

Near Ambush (50 meters or less) - the killing zone is under heavy, highly concentrated, close range firing. Turn in the direction of the ambush, staying aligned, and assault through the ambush.

Far Ambush (Over 50 meters) - the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated firing, but from a greater range. The range allows people in the killing zone to seek cover and return fire. Those members not caught in the kill zone will envelop the ambush.


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #252796
08/19/12 08:01 AM
08/19/12 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted By: chrisner
WAR OF THE WAYWARDS
PRELIMINARY SCRIPT
WITHDRAWAL SCENE

FADE IN:

A GRASSY FIELD OF BATTLE. SUNSET. A YOUNG SCARED LOOKING PRIVATE (PLAYED BY PRE D-DAY CHRISNER) CLUTCHING HIS MUSKET AND CONCEALED BY FALLEN LOGS STARES ACROSS THE FIELD TO A FAR TREELINE SHROUDED IN FOG AND MIST.

A SERGEANT (PLAYED BY POST D-DAY CHRISNER) APPROCHES QUIETLY FROM BEHIND. HE IS HAGGARRD LOOKING WITH A FIVE DAY BEARD AND SUNKEN EYES INDICATING A LACK OF SLEEP. HIS BATTLE SCARRED UNIFORM HANGS LOOSLY. A STUB OF AN UNLIT CIGAR HANGS FROM HIS MOUTH.

SARGE
Any signs of the Waywards Private?

Private Chrisner looks up hopefully to Sarge.

PRIVATE CHRISNER
No Sarge. Nothing but the fog. Maybe we whipped em Sarge.
Maybe they are on the run. Maybe the war is over.

Sarge pats the young soldier reassuringly on the shoulder.

SARGE
Son, you heard General B and Colonel M.
This will be a long, long fight and we have to remain vigilant.
We cant let them link up again.
That must be prevented at all costs.

Private Chrisner reaches into his backpack and pulls out some hardtack, looks up to Sarge and offers it to him.

PRIVATE CHRISNER
Sarge, maybe you should take this.
You have lost a lot of weight lately.

Sarge stares across the field to the fog mindlessly rubbing at his chest wound he received on the first day of the war.

SARGE
No thanks son. I am never hungry anymore.

Sarge and Private Chrisner stare toward the fog.

PRIVATE CHRISNER
But Sarge, I still dont understand.
When the war started the Waywards told us they didnt want to hurt us. The said it was only about them.

Sarge removes his cigar and spits.

SARGE
Son.......They lied.


AKA Lildoggie

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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #252841
08/19/12 09:18 PM
08/19/12 09:18 PM
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Thanks for posting this, Lil. That Chrisner is quite the inspiration. His "Sarge and the War of the Waywards" script is one of the early pieces that intrigued me about the MB discussion forums (and was one of the very first threads I read back in '07.) Plus, I was inspired to post my ace_navel_gazer blog screenplay (attached to my sig line) because of his post/story.

I'm glad you found it Lil and got his permission to move it.

Hi Chrisner....glad you checked in. waves Looking forward to your update.

Ace

P.S. Feel free to move/edit/delete this post if it's in the way of a series on the Assault the Ambush stories.


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Ace] #252878
08/20/12 07:16 AM
08/20/12 07:16 AM
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I like Chrisners style. He has a way of writing something that is easily assimilated, and often humourous to boot. The WOTW one is one that always spoke to me.


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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #262130
10/25/12 02:50 AM
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Bump (cuz there's 3 anonymous people reading!!! Who can blame them??? Chrisn rocks!!!!)


" If you couldn't change your partner when you were together, you sure aren't going to now that you aren't together..." Words of the teacher of the court mandated parenting class...and the ONE thing that stuck out to me!!!
Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Not2fun] #262477
10/28/12 12:44 AM
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aaarrrrhhhh, there the pirate hooyaw

Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: for to fade] #282105
02/25/13 11:20 PM
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bumping....for a legacy


" If you couldn't change your partner when you were together, you sure aren't going to now that you aren't together..." Words of the teacher of the court mandated parenting class...and the ONE thing that stuck out to me!!!
Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Not2fun] #282338
02/27/13 03:46 AM
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Thanks for bumping this, Not. I was just going to look for it. Glad Lil got Coach C's permission to move all of this here on MA.

Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Ace] #310141
08/15/13 02:17 AM
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More advice from Chrisner

Quote:
It is an approved maxim in war, never do what the enemy wishes you to do, for this reason alone he desires it.- Napoleon I


She wishes you to be amicable and cooperate.

She wishes you to be neglectful of her emotional needs. It fuels and justifies her decisions.

She wishes you have angry outbursts and disrespectful judgments. It fuels and justifies her decisions.

She wishes you to be needy, clingy, depressed and pathetic. It fuels and justifies her decisions.

And most of all, she wishes you will keep the adultery, "Your little secret."

Go with Napoleon on this one.


Quote:
Understand that your wayward wife really believes to her core right now that there will be a happy future with this POS, 14-year younger married dirt ball and that you will be "amicable" to help her achieve it. Make it clear now you will be as "amicable" as a starving lion fighting for the last remains of the wildebeest.

When a wayward wife has withdrawn from her husband and enters a romantic relationship with another man (and in your WW's mind she has), her husband is now sitting outside the marital castle walls and the draw bridge is drawn. Sitting on the bank of the moat hoping and watching 'patiently'Ě will not get you back into the castle. You have to prepare to both siege AND ASSAULT the castle. Does that sound stupid and melodramatic? It's not. You are at war and frankly losing RIGHT NOW!


Quote:
She does this so you will go quietly into the night and become a "friendly" co-parent and support and enable her adultery.

Don't fall for this. She is just buying time with it. Let her know that if this is her plan, her "friend" is about to become the equivalent of a pissed off wounded Grizzly Bear. And she's the one who stuck it in the ass with a penknife.

There is a very common theme among the many former wayward wives that this board is so blessed to have. That is, the beginning of their wake up call from this self imposed nightmare began when their betrayed husbands manned-up, stood up and in no uncertain terms proudly made it firm and clear, that there is no room for another man in his life or his kid's life.

Wayward wives have NO respect for their betrayed husbands. Start getting that back today.


Quote:
Considering the source I will defer to this however the term "assault the ambush" was widely used in Vietnam and from the Camp Lejeune 2008 USMC FMST Student Manual on Patrolling:

Immediate Action Drills - there are times when contact with the enemy is unexpected. For this we have immediate action drills.

Hasty Ambush - used when you see the enemy before being seen. You quickly move into a concealed area and engage the enemy or allow them to pass.

Danger Area - is where the patrol is vulnerable to the enemy observation and/or fire (roads, open areas).

Immediate Assault - used when you are caught in a near ambush. Turn in the direction of the ambush and assault the ambush.

Near Ambush (50 meters or less) - the killing zone is under heavy, highly concentrated, close range firing. Turn in the direction of the ambush, staying aligned, and assault through the ambush.

Far Ambush (Over 50 meters) - the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated firing, but from a greater range. The range allows people in the killing zone to seek cover and return fire. Those members not caught in the kill zone will envelop the ambush.


Quote:

Well the Isle of I Didnít Deserve This is a pretty small and bitter place to spend too much time on. You finally have to build your raft, grab Wilson and get on with your life.


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
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Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #318239
10/12/13 10:52 PM
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A message I wish I had read before I played the role of doormat to my wifes shoes. As a husband we think if we act honorably and try harder things will work out. But when all the information we are acting on is false we do need to revert to our caveman instincts. Thanks

Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: chuckm] #318241
10/12/13 10:58 PM
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Originally Posted By: chuckm
A message I wish I had read before I played the role of doormat to my wifes shoes. As a husband we think if we act honorably and try harder things will work out. But when all the information we are acting on is false we do need to revert to our caveman instincts. Thanks


I agree Chuck.

There were so many opinions that just stated that i needed to improve myself as a more devoted husband, that i enabled her affairs and turned into the ultimate doormat.

AITL

Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Am I Too Late] #323582
11/17/13 02:14 AM
11/17/13 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Considering the source I will defer to this however the term "assault the ambush" was widely used in Vietnam and from the Camp Lejeune 2008 USMC FMST Student Manual on Patrolling:

Immediate Action Drills - there are times when contact with the enemy is unexpected. For this we have immediate action drills.

Hasty Ambush - used when you see the enemy before being seen. You quickly move into a concealed area and engage the enemy or allow them to pass.

Danger Area - is where the patrol is vulnerable to the enemy observation and/or fire (roads, open areas).

Immediate Assault - used when you are caught in a near ambush. Turn in the direction of the ambush and assault the ambush.

Near Ambush (50 meters or less) - the killing zone is under heavy, highly concentrated, close range firing. Turn in the direction of the ambush, staying aligned, and assault through the ambush.

Far Ambush (Over 50 meters) - the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated firing, but from a greater range. The range allows people in the killing zone to seek cover and return fire. Those members not caught in the kill zone will envelop the ambush.




Quote:
A couple more for Dummo:

The consequences of divorce on children are far-reaching. One detailed study found that, "five years after the divorce, more than a third of the children were experiencing moderate or severe depression. At ten years a significant number of the now-grown young men and women appeared to be troubled, drifting, and underachieving. At the fifteen-year mark, many of the thirtyish adults were struggling to establish secure love relationships of their own ... Cruelly, the experience of parental divorce damaged many young adults' ability to forge strong attachments of their own, in both their work and their family lives" Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Divorce Culture,

A 25-year landmark study of 131 children of divorce demonstrated some alarming facts. "Adolescence begins early in divorced homes and, compared with that of the youngsters raised in intact families, is more likely to include more early sexual experiences for girls and higher alcohol and drug use for girls and boys"
The study also found that "one in four of the children in this study started using drugs and alcohol before their fourteenth birthdays" (p. 188). Cohabitation rates were high among the group. Several of the single young women felt that simply moving in with a man "was safer than marriage because escape was easier if they needed to get out or if the man left" (p. 289). Their reasons boiled down to a distrust of men that resulted when their parents divorced. (Judith Wallerstein, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, 2000, p. 299).


Quote:
Maybe itís the word ďbreechedĒ that is offering the different perspectives.

noun
1. the act or a result of breaking; break or rupture.
2. an infraction or violation, as of a law, trust, faith, or promise.
3. a gap made in a wall, fortification, line of soldiers, etc.; rift; fissure.
4. a severance of friendly relations.
5. the leap of a whale above the surface of the water.



Itís one thing to stand outside the Castle Opposite Sex talking to those on the parapets (or flinging insults and cows) and another to bring up the cannons, blow open a breech and lead the assault. The British called the first wave of soldiers into the breech the ďforlorn hopeĒ. Thereís a nice analogy to adultery.

Oh, and if the occupants of Castle Opposite Sex lower the draw bridge and lift the Portcullis itís likely a trap.


Quote:
The one aspect of the steps that is not covered here is the change of interests that waywards frequently take in order to create the ďWe have so much in commonĒ line.

Wayzilla suddenly had all new interests and taste in music and it of course was all Gollums.

She became a big Kid Rock fan (one of his favorites). That was a laugh. She was listening to a lot of music that DD (then 18) had already moved on from.

I remember one afternoon at a sports bar restaurant not far from when the EA probably became a PA and she was staring up at a TV behind me in rapt interest and a faint smile. I turn around to see what she was watching and it was pro rodeo. I said, ďI didnít know you liked rodeo.Ē

She replied, ďOh, Iíve always liked rodeo.Ē

Of course you would have thought I would have known that after 25-1/2 years together.


Quote:
It's slow here at night so be patient. I think this thread will fairly light up tomorrow.

Quote:
the next day she told me that she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore

This is the wayward spouse Holy Grail line that means, "I am commiting adultery."

Quote:
hadn't been for several years


This is also a classic standard line. I was told the same.

Quote:
she told me she had given me all kinds of hints but i didn't notice them.

I was told the EXACT same thing. It's a pile of crap and trys to put all the blame on you. She is telling you she was forced to commit adultery because you could not pick up hints?

Quote:
i asked her why didn't just tell me we were in trouble and she said she'd been hoping i would have an affair so she wouldn't have to hurt me.

There's one to put right in the all time classics of wayward fog spewage.

She is clearly in a full aduterous relationship and I believe it is probably a sexual one.

Quote:
agreed to do the right thing for the children we have 2 children

The right thing for you to do is to fight to protect the children and yourself from what is about to become a very nasty time of your life. This is tough, but you have to get a plan fast. If you do not believe anything else I post to you please believe this; You need to act now.

Quote:
my therapist told me to give her space and be patient and to let her go horseback riding even though i know she sees this guy when she goes.

Time to get a new therapist because this is STUPID advice. She wants space so she can have sex with another man while you do nothing.

Personally, if she goes to that camp, I would tell her she is not welcome back into the house. Secure your finances and consult an attorney NOW. She needs to hear that boundry now and you must be willing to enforce it. Be calm and cool like a gunfighter.

Are her parents near? If they are and if she goes just pack her stuff and deliver it to them.

Do NOT leave the house. She is the adulteress. If anyone leaves, it must be her.

Tell her if she wants a D you are going fight for everything including full custody of the kids. It will shock her to discover adultery has consequences. Make it loud and clear that your children will never be exposed to her 14 year younger OM. NEVER! Are there AOA laws in your state?

Expose now to everyone that can support you with what is going on.

Time to stand up and fight for your marriage and your kids. You must make it clear right now there is not room for three of you in your marriage.

Understand this now, you are in a fight. It won't just go away or get better if you just sit and hope. Hope is not a PLAN! But remember when you choose to fight you must understand and accept the risk of failure. Don't let that FEAR guide your decisions. In this game, you must be willing to lose what you want most to have any chance to win.

Does the OM work at this place or is he a customer? If he works there, propose a law suit to the owners tomorrow.

Believe it or not, everything I have told you here will be help to save your marriage. She will get angry. She will say nasty vicious things, but the marriage can survive that. It can not survive ongoing adultery.

Quote:
i recently got a call from another woman accusing my wife of having an affair with her husband who is 14 years younger than my wife.

Call her back and tell her she is correct they are commiting adultery. Then coordinate a nuclear exposure of the adultery from both sides.

And call him tomorrow and ask him directly what his intentions are with your wife. He will say they are just friends and you must tell him if he is desiring to remain your wife's "friend" you are about to become his worst nightmare of his life. Gunfighter cool.

He may likley also may tell you, "Dude, I had no idea she was married. I am out Dude. Don't worry about me Dude!" And he will be a LIAR! NOTHING your WW or the POS OM say will be the truth. They LIE about everything. Hear me again; They LIE about everything.

Understand that your wayward wife really believes to her core right now that there will be a happy future with this POS, 14-year younger married dirt ball and that you will be "amicable" to help her achieve it. Make it clear now you will be as "amicable" as a starving lion fighting for the last remains of the wildebeest.

When a wayward wife has withdrawn from her husband and enters a romantic relationship with another man (and in your WW‚Äôs mind she has), her husband is now sitting outside the marital castle walls and the draw bridge is drawn. Sitting on the bank of the moat hoping and watching ‚Äúpatiently‚ÄĚ will not get you back into the castle. You have to prepare to both siege AND ASSAULT the castle. Does that sound stupid and melodramatic? It‚Äôs not. You are at war and frankly losing RIGHT NOW!

Your therapist understands this like I understand quantum physics. Not at all! But unlike him/her, me and so many others here did have to fight this battle. Some lost, some won. But 100% of those who waited patiently as per your therapist’s advice, lost.

Quote:
I dropped the ball on our "date nights" and i did in some ways


Yep. You are 50% responsible for the current state of the marriage and the subsequent vulnerability to adultery. She is 100% responsibe for the CHOICE to commit adultery against her WHOLE family. You did not get a vote! The kids did not get a vote. You all would have voted NO! Her choice. Her consequence!

I am sorry you are here friend but you have come to a place of people who have been there and done that. Please trust us.


Edited by chrisner (09/19/08 10:11 AM)
Edit Reason: Ooooooo....that "For years I hinted at my unhappiness and you were too dense so I just had to commit adultery." thing burns me up.


Quote:
Waywards like to keep score.

2pts to betrayed for sex in your car with OP.
1pt to betrayed for sexting OP.
1 pt to betrayed per every 1,000 TM's to OP.
817 pts to wayward for exposure.

Ah yes, but I do remember Wayzilla's Scarlette O'Hara, "Ah nevah meant to hurt you."

Waywards, you can't live with them and they make poor plow oxen.


Quote:
Andrea's golden hair spread out like a halo from the serenity of her slightly sleepy face, framing her blissful expression in a nest of saffron locks that irresistably and inevitably drew John's mind back to fond memories involving a few scattered bales of straw the color of her hair covering the bed of the azure datsun pickup truck where they shared their secrets and their bodies for the first time; smiling inwardly at the upwelling of pleasant memory, he reached out and stroked her hair, glad once again that her hair didn't make the sort of crunching sound that straw did when stroked and that her hair didn't break off in little pieces and get uncomfortably stuck in his shorts.


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
Infidelity Guide For The Betrayed Spouse


Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #341378
03/23/14 07:16 PM
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Because it can never hurt to read some of Chrisner's finest....

SFB


Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)
Re: Chrisners Advice for Betrayed Husbands AKA Assult The Ambush! [Re: Lil] #445520
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Lil Offline OP

Member
Lil  Offline OP

Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,569
New Zealand
Bump


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
Infidelity Guide For The Betrayed Spouse



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