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Where do I go? #34625
12/12/10 06:07 PM
12/12/10 06:07 PM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Hey Starfish

Great having a place to go to inspire folks.. BUT big question where do those of us sorta successful, but as they call on DB Piecing go?

I happily got my wayward to come home and have been working hard at things for the last year, mostly good I have to say! So would love to chip in and offer moral support for those just starting on this road, just point me in the right direction!


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Where do I go? [Re: lost rabbit] #34630
12/12/10 06:15 PM
12/12/10 06:15 PM
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star*fish Offline
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LR...the support board will have a two new forums that will be likely candidates for you:

The Turning Point: Reaching recovery and reconciliation after marital crisis, and putting the right safeguards in place to protect the marriage.

I think maybe I should add the word "piecing" to this description...good idea.

(((MAgnify)) Your Marriage: (Marriage Advocates' Great New Ideas For You)....Creating a healthy and thriving marriage--making a good marriage great!


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: Where do I go? [Re: star*fish] #34632
12/12/10 06:21 PM
12/12/10 06:21 PM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Thanks SF

Look forward to getting stuck in, moral support is/was so important to me during last year only fair to pass it on/forward!


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Where do I go? [Re: lost rabbit] #34882
12/13/10 05:33 AM
12/13/10 05:33 AM
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star*fish Offline
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LR,

I added the "piecing" in the wording for "The Turning Point"...that was a really good idea. Thanks smile


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: Where do I go? [Re: star*fish] #35143
12/13/10 09:46 PM
12/13/10 09:46 PM
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hey LR,

I'll be building my little humble home in this neck of the woods soon (within the next few days) Maybe I'll lay the foundation here in a few minutes. wink


I'm not a professional.... and I don't go exactly by the book.... but I did get the second chance to get things right. smile TIME.... Patience.... Self Investment.... smile
Re: Where do I go? [Re: dday101798] #35580
12/14/10 07:51 PM
12/14/10 07:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Yippee! That makes two of us at least dancing


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Where do I go? [Re: lost rabbit] #35663
12/14/10 09:02 PM
12/14/10 09:02 PM
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You know I started on it, then deleted, then started again, then quit. Not sure if it's neccessary ot go through all the timelines, ALL the details, blah blah blah. crazy


I'm not a professional.... and I don't go exactly by the book.... but I did get the second chance to get things right. smile TIME.... Patience.... Self Investment.... smile
Re: Where do I go? [Re: dday101798] #35970
12/15/10 01:20 PM
12/15/10 01:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
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Ace Offline
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Originally Posted By: dday101798
You know I started on it, then deleted, then started again, then quit. Not sure if it's neccessary ot go through all the timelines, ALL the details, blah blah blah. crazy


Hi dday and lost rabbit.....for me, I used my journaling as a therapeutic step (mostly venting) and then refined it from there to write my story.

There is no best way for everyone to write their success story. The timeline was a helpful outline for me but may not work for others.

I suggest you create a word doc and just keep hitting "save" (or "save as" if it's a different version and you don't want to lose the original). If you post it in the blog section, you have more time to edit if you decide to later (I think it's 30 days vs. 24 hours in other sections....unlimited in the Construction Zone).

Glad you're both here and I look forward to your stories. You'll be amazed how many might be able to relate to something you've overcome or other things with which you may need input.

Thanks,
Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: Where do I go? [Re: Ace] #36030
12/15/10 03:13 PM
12/15/10 03:13 PM
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Hiya Ace. Been there done that when "blogging" (aka - journalizing) was a neccessity to keep my head from generating a EF3 level tornnadic windfield from it spinning so quickly. smile

I'll come up with a consolidated version at some point.


I'm not a professional.... and I don't go exactly by the book.... but I did get the second chance to get things right. smile TIME.... Patience.... Self Investment.... smile
Re: Where do I go? [Re: lost rabbit] #138654
07/23/11 03:13 PM
07/23/11 03:13 PM
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Ace Offline
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Originally Posted By: lost rabbit
Hey Starfish

Great having a place to go to inspire folks.. BUT big question where do those of us sorta successful, but as they call on DB Piecing go?

I happily got my wayward to come home and have been working hard at things for the last year, mostly good I have to say! So would love to chip in and offer moral support for those just starting on this road, just point me in the right direction!


Hi lost rabbit,

I just read all four of the MA threads you've started and am impressed with your stories and desire to be helpful. I looked to see if you've posted anything on the Success Story forum and found this request for direction from several months ago.

I saw where you posted what you called your "success story" on your blog and I hope you'll consider re-posting it here. You could start a new thread or use this one and ask the mods to change the thread title.

I'm glad you're now on holiday and that you have a new 'adventure' (of your interview) which could lead to bigger and greater things down the road. Hope your couch to 5K running and horseback riding helps you reach your health goals. Looking forward to hearing more.

Best wishes,
Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Life Jim but not as we know it! [Re: Ace] #245962
07/09/12 11:40 AM
07/09/12 11:40 AM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Well I promised Starfish ages ago I'd get something down on paper so to speak, and now its a tad quiet I shall endeavour to do so..

I wont bore all of you with the whole story in one chunk but add to it as I go along.

Chapter One

Boy meets girl barely teenagers fall in love and decide that they are ment to be together..

Gosh that seems so twee now, but thats how it happened. You can guess that neither sets of parents were too pleased but we carried on none the less.

Finally married five years later, and parents still not convinced we were right for each other. Two years later darling DS born and life pretty much tootled along, me SAHM and him working his socks off to earn a crust. Pity I didnt appreciate that as much as I should off back then.

Struggled to have another child put more stress on things until I was told "I dont think I love you as much as I should, boy did I miss a trick here, instead I went onto punishing him for not loving me enough. Finally got through that sticky patch, along with realising that being parent to one child properly was more important than hankering after a second one, although I will apportion some blame to the drugs I was on, bet we wernt/arnt the first couple to nearly divorce over trying to have a family. TBC


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

More like Star Wars than Star Trek [Re: lost rabbit] #245983
07/09/12 02:36 PM
07/09/12 02:36 PM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Two

The next thing to challenge our marriage was again H, my *** makes me feel better than you do!

Oh why didnt I learn the first time and even miss the second chance.. I was a control freak, a control freak out of the need to make sure things couldnt go wrong, every thing had to be done a certain way as other wise all hell would break lose, looking back this was ingrained from childhood and was my parents way of controlling me. Cant say my childhood was wonderful, always competition between me and my sibling set up by parents. Affection with held if you misbehaved. Always trying to live up to want parents wanted, no wonder I thought I'd found the man of my dreams, he only wanted to be loved and to please me and I took advantage and walked into the trap of behaving just like my parents which I despised.

So what did I do but behave like them, withheld affection, he could do nothing to abate my anger and boy did I make him pay, its horrible reading these things now, but I can now see that I did so much out of fear, I was sending my own life down a roller coaster. Everything was me being scared of what might happen in 2066 instead of living each day.

Was probably here that although on the surface it looked like we had moved on H's resentment began to build, I often wonder how long it had been growing before DDay. So now we are four years away from DDay and Im still not getting it.


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

ILYBINILWY [Re: lost rabbit] #248331
07/21/12 09:08 AM
07/21/12 09:08 AM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Three

Well the worst year of my life finally arrived, well I say the worst but looking back now I can say that some of it was so good perhaps it should have happened earlier.

The year started fine although H was bogged down in a job he was really beginning to hate, but as in a recession now beggars cant be choosers, he stopped talking to me about work and gradually over time stopped talking to me much, but we both had got used to sitting on our laptops all evening chatting away to someone or other and not making each other a priority, he blamed me for not spending time with him, but on the other hand he never came up with any other more exciting options to do.

He had a serious medical condition four years previously, one that probably should have started a MLC in him, but instead triggered on in me, and although on the surface it looked like he was enjoying his own hobby, the time spent together wasnt fuelling our marriage.

Things started to get quite uncomfortable between us in early spring, he seemed more snappy with me and less tolerant of things, I spent less and less time with him.. We got to our wedding anniversary and had the most awful row which culminated in me begging for three months to put it right..

Oh I wished I found you guys back then, I went down the begging, crying route, we had already had separate rooms due to me not being able to sleep due to noise, and that had happened when I got so tired and was having to sleep during the day to compensate, I lost my temper and demanded he sleep next door..

Well I made mistake after mistake, pursuing, chasing, begging, crying you name it I did it and H well he built his wall higher and higher, till I could no longer see anyone that resembled my H. He spent ages on FB talking to someone else and never came to bed at the same time, if I sat next to him he moved, if I touched him it was like touching a brick in his wall.. I was getting no where?

He started lying to me about his whereabouts, I wouldnt go to a family event as previously he had treated me so badly at one I didnt want to go to it with him and suffer that again, so he went off supposedly to do his hobby and took clean clothes and attended without me. By now I was a complete wreck.

I begged for him to go to councelling, he wouldnt at first but did eventually he agreed to go, again worst mistake of my life, she barely explained that divorce would make life financially difficult when she went onto have you tried separation.. Say no more he came home and within two weeks was gone..


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Let the fun begin! [Re: lost rabbit] #248332
07/21/12 09:29 AM
07/21/12 09:29 AM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Four

"Its all about me, me and me and if you dont get that dear wife I said ME"

Meet my husband lol!

He had lost tons of weight by now and was looking good, he started shopping for his own clothes (never bothered before), started going to the gym like a mad person, and was looking after himself.. ARRRRhhhhh all things I's be banging on for years trying to get him to do!

So off he went, I was strong in the sentence "if you love them let them go" but the cocky side of me said "he'll be back in two weeks" so wrong was I, he stayed longer and longer and longer and finally got his own place.

At first I was allocated a two weekly, three hour visit, but his wall was still so high he might as well have just chatted to the cat for all it was worth. I'd always asked him if he was coming the following two weeks:

Let DB commence:

I found DB, 180's by the bucket load, meltywoman out the window, time to face up to reality, I had been on AD's for a short while so got myself off those and got rid of cloudy head.

Started to look for a job which I finally got one two months later.

The best bit I sent H NC, I made no contact with him at all, if he rang me he got the bare details, son and heir was sworn to secrecy, as nearly a grown up he accepted that it wasnt his dad's business any more.. Likewise I started dropping weight and looking good.

Im certain some things got back to H via S, mums going out, looking good, moving on, did I mind those no lol!

I attended a family friends funeral looking absolutely amazing and was the life and soul of the party so to speak, this was a big 180 as before as I have said embarrassment would have kept me firmly at home. He looked good, new suit, bright tie, laughing and smiling and I knew everyone in the room would notice our lack of wedding rings but I just didnt care..

Two and half months later, he asked to visit, I thought here it comes its the big D..

Operation Visit went into planning stages, hair cut (had to look sexy) finally went shopping for new lingerie as by now it was hanging off me.. some new clothes to finish the look.

New attitude firmly in place.. just needed one H to get on with the showdown.

By now ironically it had become a bit of game, he thought he was in control but it was now firmly in my hands whether he realised it or not. I was determined if I was gonna get the D speech, I was going to take it like a lady, and move on, but if he thought for one minute we were going to be friends that so was not going to happen, although it would seem like bitterness the truth was that I couldnt bear to be in the same room as the man I loved so much.


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

The Big D [Re: lost rabbit] #248333
07/21/12 09:51 AM
07/21/12 09:51 AM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Five

Well apparently not lol!

Earlier in the NC period I had challenged him about some financial things which I thought proved he had OW. Thankfully OW in the A sense never existed but he was definitely having an EA with a member of my family! Im sure she had encouraged him to leave in the first place as her M had failed and she was very much in the "if your not happy do something about it" frame of mind. She had definitely replaced me in the person he would talk to him and in eyes had become his best friend, something he didnt really have before.

So the visit commenced, well actually it didnt lol! I went out for a lunch date, he txt me to say he'd arrive and I said I be back later.. I came back looking good, chatting on the phone, we talked about neighbours, life and general stuff. He looked in fridge and found nothing, so said he'd probably go out for dinner, I cheekily asked was it a date and he replied I suppose so!

We had a pleasant evening :-)

He left the following day and sent me a cheeky txt message, effectively we had started dating.


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: The Big D [Re: lost rabbit] #248424
07/21/12 07:22 PM
07/21/12 07:22 PM
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lost rabbit, so glad you're putting your story out here for us! Look forward to seeing how you got from there to where you are now.

My you look good! [Re: right here waiting] #248499
07/22/12 02:59 PM
07/22/12 02:59 PM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Six

Well operation get his attention had worked, my intention to at least make him regret telling me he wanted a divorce had opened his eyes to the changes I had made and was continuing to make.

It was a slow start as I was still a little NC with him, most certainly was not going to think that I was on tap when ever he wanted straight away, and I was still not certain that he would find another partner I was held back a little, airs of mystery lol!

Over the next few months he would visit and we would do things together and inevitably we would end up in our bed of an evening, but things were good :-)

In between times I kept things cool, and occasionally txt him but couldnt phone him much as the signal was bad in his area. (that was one of the things he complained about once he started seeing me he didnt like NC too much)

Now unfortunately life started to get in the way to keep some of the dating going, he lost his job and it wasnt easy to keep travelling the 2hrs to see me, and also as he had no other contact with people, his best friend was now dating and busy, so the missing me became far more significant.. I too played into this a bit, I know how cruel it must seem but many a night I'd see him log in to MSN and I'd sit and wait before I'd go online..

My late autumn he started to come across quite miserable, and it was then I started to wonder if this was all gonna backfire horribly. It was becoming quite obvious to me that he was getting depressed, infact it turns out that when he finally got his head round things he felt he had been depressed right from early spring that year, right when it all started going horribly wrong..

Then it all kicked off, he asked to visit and I told him NO as he was so miserable, and also I needed to focus as I had my second interview, he really didnt like me saying NO too much and became so angry that I told him the reason why and he said he'd arrive later and cook me dinner.. I got the job and was elated, such a relief that at least I had some money coming in. When he arrived he was so angry, he had a right go at me, said he wasnt sleeping in our bed, we had dinner but it ended in a horrible relationship talk, and finally he became unbearable to talk to and I went off to bed really worried he might do something stupid, I heard him go to his room and fell asleep, in the middle of the night suddenly he snuck into my bed like a small boy and snuggled into me. Now I knew he was really ill and needed help, but I no longer had much control over him, so what the hell was I gonna do..

The following day he asked if we could go out to lunch, and I agreed as long as he left Mr Angry at home, over lunch he started to talk and it was apparent his anger was at himself not me! He said if he hadnt been so awkward he could have come up Wednesday and stayed all week, and now he couldnt, finally he went back to his home, went to his hobby evening and drove back again in the early hours of the morning, in all about 5hrs driving just to be back with me :-) He also went to the docs and as I had suspected had quite serious depression, but he got on the meds and that gradually turned him around.

The blocks of time he spent with me became longer and longer, but whenever he went back, I'd always give him a lovely kiss and look as happy as larry that I had some me time again, letting him know I look forward to seeing him whenever.. We were now heading rapidly towards Xmas and H made it quite clear that he wanted to spend Xmas with me at our home, this he did all ten days off Xmas it was a lovely time. But in the weeks before I had told him that I had made the decision that if he wasnt onboard by 1st Jan 2010 I was moving on without him, it would break my heart but I was running a home not a brothel and I was no Victoria Sponge lol! One thing that nearly shot him in the foot was the fact he bought the OW (my relative) a xmas present and suddenly added it to the pile of present I had bought. He was politely told that was the last time he would buy jewellry for any woman other than me, (boundary) he promised he wouldnt and never has..

By the end of Xmas he had decided he wanted to come home, this was done over a period of two months, I didnt want him to feel he was giving up too much that he'd fought to gain, his new hobbies were important to him and part of the new man he had become, so it was a negotiated return.

Now my one big mistake although Im not sure quite how I should have handled this, was I had one huge boundaries.

OW was only to be our friend (very hard to NC her completely)

Now transferring his best freindship back to me took a great deal longer than anticipated, I caught him talking to her on FB, sending her birthday card was the last straw I stood my ground. As I left for work he was under no illusion it was her or me my terms or it was the end of us.. I didnt know who he had chosen till I got home but thankfully it was me.. Yes he slipped up several times after that but each one was dealt with, he finally posted a rebuttle to one her sarcy remarks on FB saying I was worth it every day of the week, battle finally won..

So Feb 2010 he moved back in with me and we were a family again, and a couple working on their marriage together.


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Now the hard work begins! [Re: lost rabbit] #248550
07/22/12 08:34 PM
07/22/12 08:34 PM
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lost rabbit Offline OP
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Chapter Seven

Now he was home the real work began, obviously both of us were still quite at odds with each other, it was still like two people getting to know each other slowly over time.

As I had said previously the OW so to speak still held a large portion of my husbands attention, that took about six months plus to get him to a point of letting go..

Financially we were and still are in a pretty bad place, he stayed outta work for pretty much the whole of 2010, getting back into a job late November. We lived on my wages which are quite minimal and obvously bill after bill built up.

I was still learning how to be the new me, I was growing all the time, learning new ways to handle things, new ways to communicate and get things done, infact some of this new me found a new relationship with my darling son, we had always got on well but had banged a few heads over the teenage years and grown a little apart, but using the new techniques he is like putty in my hands again lol!

We both learnt new things, his cuddle time is very precious, so most evenings laptops go down at 9pm and we have some us time, I need words, and he had to learn again to use them, some of the littlest things are so dear to me, the way he rubs my back when we are out shopping, he openly grabs my hand all the time whereas before he used to walk slightly away as if I was a vampire or something. We both constantly try to show each other love in little ways.

Xmas came and went and I had lovely presents, then my birthday which instead of it being a last minute thing he had planned a trip to the theatre, booked an hotel and we travelled everywhere by taxi, I felt like a princess. This meant so much to me as my birthday had often been put on hold and then nothing much happened, for him to organise things it was lovely.

2012 was a lovely year, we celebrated our 25th anniversary and again H booked the most lovely trip, it incorporated both our loves and it was the most precious time together, it was also so much better as one of my most awful habits was to panic over holidays and I pretty much knocked this on the head, but also kept telling H how much him organising everything had helped me so much.


We had a few lovely weekends away and again my lack of panicking made them so much more pleasant, we were able to have fun, and do things on the spare of the moment, very unlike the old me lol!

Life was pretty much normal but still lots of triggers which he handled as best he could, I also tried to explain why I was triggered and gave him things that could help that not happen. We constantly worked at things as a team.

Later in the year we were lucky enough to have another holiday and again it was wonderful, I was so proud of myself as the penultimate day I was tidying things up and found the receipt for the OW Xmas present the year before, I stayed calm passed it to him and said it was a little foolish nearly spoiling our holiday letting me find that, and added that it was a horrendous amount of money to spend and I'd probably never spend that on my best friends really important birthdays, and I let it drop, I wasnt going to let that woman spoil one day of the most loveliest holiday with my H I had ever had..

We have had another Xmas and yet another lovely birthday, and a quieter wedding anniversary this year as both of us were unwell, and hopefully looking forward to a holiday latter in the year but its so nice as every three months or so we make some time away together just us time..

We are happy, it will take a few more years for me to forget he left and maybe never who knows, but each day we try to make each other feel special and loved, and our marriage is in a much better place than it ever used to be! And it will stay that way if we both keep working at it.

Im sure I have left out lots in this tale, but it started in a horrid awful place and ended up different but happy, would I do it again, I'd rather still have some of the things we had before, but I still would have wanted to go on the journey I have been through as I am far nicer, calmer, relaxed person that I used to be :-)


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: lost rabbit] #284809
03/11/13 12:14 AM
03/11/13 12:14 AM
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Lost Rabbit,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I really, really enjoyed reading it.

Stories like yours give me hope and strength.

Thank you!!!

R.




"LOVE is not a THING to be given, it's an ACTION to be taken!" by: Miranda
Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: Rubby] #290286
04/09/13 02:57 PM
04/09/13 02:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 52
Princefan86 Offline
Member
Princefan86  Offline
Member
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 52
Lost Rabbit I loved reading your story your really an inspiration. How long was this. I know exactly what you mean about recovering his friendship, that is a major piece missing in my marriage. I hope to someday get the opportunity to heal that I do miss his friendship more than anything. I too am a control freak his biggest complaint about me. I really only wanted us to be able to do things together more, his rejections would irritate me.

But thank you for sharing this link with me! I bless your marriage so very happy to hear the success stories of recovery.


Married 24 years in May
2 children in their 20's
D-day 1/2012 S day 1 - 3/24/2012
S day 2 - 3/10/2013

______________________________________________________
You can't make order out of chaos.
If someone shows you who they are believe them. Maya Angelou
Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: Princefan86] #290297
04/09/13 03:16 PM
04/09/13 03:16 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,039
lost rabbit Offline OP
Member
lost rabbit  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,039
Hi PF86

It was probably a year when he had moved out, and another six months plus before I think we were really both onboard with working together!

If things had been more financially/mentaly stable I would have gone down the route of a PBL, hard to tell because althought the depression started before the financial problems if they hadnt happened he possibly could have got a lot more entitled and walk away who knows!

As a reformed control freak I know its even harder to suddenly lose everything and one you controlled! Better to learn to sort it out if you can!


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: lost rabbit] #330696
01/12/14 03:01 PM
01/12/14 03:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 757
Canada
P
Portsidegirl Offline
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Portsidegirl  Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 757
Canada
Thanks for sharing you story. Gives me hope. From start to finish how long was the process?


DDay June 2013
Married 28 years (June2013)
My age 56
WS 54
D1 25
D2 22
Still in legal separation ongoing
Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: Portsidegirl] #330717
01/12/14 08:14 PM
01/12/14 08:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,039
lost rabbit Offline OP
Member
lost rabbit  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,039
PSG if I was genuinely honest I would say from DD to return one year.. From return to despatching EA/Best Friend another six months. Working together to put things back together as financially this hurt us really badly another three years. Finally putting it to bed I had a lovely present of honesty and truth from H Xmas Eve 2013 and I have now put all my anxiety to bed.. We are moving forward truly together now!


Once was lost but now found and happily married!

The story
http://www.marriageadvocates.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/34625/Where_do_I_go

Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: lost rabbit] #330723
01/12/14 09:44 PM
01/12/14 09:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,535
Ace Offline
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Ace  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,535
Originally Posted By: lost rabbit
Finally putting it to bed I had a lovely present of honesty and truth from H Xmas Eve 2013 and I have now put all my anxiety to bed.. We are moving forward truly together now!


claps That's great to hear, LR. Congratulations.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: Now the hard work begins! [Re: Ace] #332664
01/24/14 03:31 PM
01/24/14 03:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,099
SFB Offline
Member
SFB  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,099
LR:

Great news, just keep going!

SFB


Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)

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