So what is the status of your H's affair and your marriage now?
It's been 10 years this spring since my H's online/phone/US Mail EA. They never met in real life but they had phone sex, exchanged trinkets, he rented her a PO box and took her emails at work where I had no access......until I did....looked online while at his work to find something and....voila! D-Day 2 occurred.
There were a total of 4 D-Days in 6 months and I gave up.
He had a sudden awakening when he realized I was serious and he defogged ...or I should say "started" to defog rather quickly.
I gave him an ultimatum and he said he'd do anything to help me heal for as long as it took. I found MB, started posting, called Dr./Mrs. Harley, signed up for one of the last MB Weekends and we attended in early 2007.
I set a high bar and did not expect H to follow through....but he did. He even made the MC appointments to see our really tough MC on a regular basis for several months.
Anyhow, 10 years later, we're still together and doing well for the most part, but recently I've been challenged by triggers, which I'm beginning to realize will never ever totally go away. I'm still learning tools to deal with them....how to recreate memories....trying to focus on the future and not dwell on the past.
H understands this process could possibly last the rest of our lives. I thought that if I quit posting and reading about affairs so often, it might lessen my triggers and it has to a certain extent.
Our tough MC says we should see him every year for a tune-up whether we need it or not. It's been over 18 months so we're getting ready to see MC to help us with some recent bumps in the road. I've posted some of it on my recovery thread....(sorry, can't remember how to link to it) but it's on the recovery forum.
Gotta run but again, thanks for all your help.