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The Silver Lining of an Affair #418662
01/21/17 11:13 AM
01/21/17 11:13 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,407
Not quite here
Squeaky Tree Offline OP
Squeaky Tree  Offline OP
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,407
Not quite here
A hand is dealt, the way people grow from that is what is very special and important for the continuation of the human race. Critical that we put our knowledge and understanding to good use. Affair saves marriage

Married 22years (this year) ~13y since dday(?)
DD17 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: The Silver Lining of an Affair [Re: Squeaky Tree] #418665
01/21/17 04:50 PM
01/21/17 04:50 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Ace  Offline
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Hi ST!!!! waves Long time no see.....thanks so much for posting this link.

I read the entire story. Ours is similar with a few twists and I will include some of those details when I post our Success Story.

Yep, after 10 years we have finally been "in recovery" long enough.....and made progress to the point that I feel like we are recoverED.

And, briefly, after a 32 year dysfunctional M during which I looked for a way out of our misery, I knew that the Bible justified a separation and divorce after adultery. I did not think, however, that my H would even consider it---or that he could find anyone with whom to cheat--- so I was secretly thrilled when he did both (found someone and cheated with her).

ETA: The night of D-Day #1, WH was willing to give me everything except his truck in a quiet D and I was ready to take it.

Why did we try to reconcile? Because our DS20something made us promise to fight for our family first before giving up. That's what we had taught both of our adult son and daughter to do.

So we did....and 10 years later our M is better than ever as we approach our mid-4th decade. Story linked to my sig line.

I was intrigued by the part of the article that described gyms and fitness centers for those seeking a healthy body as well as hospitals and physicians for those needing physical healing. The author suggested that there be a place for newlyweds to learn how to "be a successful couple" and a resource for partners in sick marriages to go for help with challenges that may destroy their relationships.

One solution could be on-line marriage web sites with message boards like MA:

* Non-threatening --- anonymity often creates a way to realize the truth and the bravery to share it
* Economical --- only cost the time it takes for one to read or post
* Eye-opening --- features different ideas and challenging thoughts from readers and posters all over the world
* Convenient --- anyone can participate at anytime, 24/7
* Uniqueness --- had to come up with something to give this list a multiple of 5 items

Marriage Advocates is the only web site of its kind that is not operating to make a profit. Hence, it can offer a different type of tone without the commercialism that often plagues for-profit sites.

Again, thanks ST for posting this. Have you posted a personal update anywhere? If so I'll try to find/read it.


Last edited by Ace; 01/21/17 05:49 PM. Reason: insert omitted detail

We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story

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