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Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444825
03/06/20 09:26 PM
03/06/20 09:26 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Thanks, Blair.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445410
04/15/21 02:44 AM
04/15/21 02:44 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline
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Cat so good to see you posting! How is it going with you, do you still get time home with the grand baby? Are you working remotely now? How about your family?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445411
04/15/21 02:47 AM
04/15/21 02:47 AM
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SmilingWife Offline
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Yes I would like to hear too.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445413
04/15/21 12:32 PM
04/15/21 12:32 PM
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Blair Offline
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Me too. smile

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445442
04/28/21 05:56 PM
04/28/21 05:56 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Hi all, things are ok. We're still in dire straits with money, hubby is always trying to cook up the next scheme to get rich while he barely charges more than cost for the electronics work he does for people. But he knows best. *sigh*

I was just offered an AMAZING job (work from home, even) but they were only offering $1200 more a year than my current job. I spent HOURS trying to make it work financially to even just break even, hubby even built a spreadsheet to help me, and it just came up $200 less a month than I'm earning now, for various reasons like healthcare costs. So I turned it down, as we can't even afford our bills as is; he saw how distraught I was and asked me if we weren't having money problems would I have taken it and I said absolutely! So maybe that will stick in his mind about getting us out of this mountain of debt; I can't do it cos I have a steady paycheck that will never increase - he can get higher-paying gigs for his business if he'd try harder. But I'm also doing 5 or 6 side jobs as well to pay off the debt. Just getting old, you know? Good news is he's 66 so we have applied for his Social Security; that will be an extra $2700/month, a Godsend.

Granddaughter is 22 months old now. I haven't been watching her one day a week since last summer, but I try to find a reason to hang out with them at least once a week. Hubby is even more insistent on seeing her than I am. DD29 is depressed, her husband's been working a lot of overtime so she's basically raising the kid on her own, and he's not very demonstrative so she's having to tell him that she needs compliments and attention, her love languages. We'll see how that goes. But granddaughter is a hoot and QUITE the handful; she's really been a blessing in our lives.

House is more of a wreck than usual, with all of hubby's work stuff flowing out of the extra rooms and the den and the dining room. I'm thinking about renting a storage unit, cos I literally can't invite anyone over (even if I had friends to invite). DD29's in-laws moved into our neighborhood a few blocks away and they have one of those designer-looking houses, on the lake; they've invited us over several times and I can't invite them over here because of all hubby's junk and because the house is falling apart.

Oh, and today is my very last day working from home; we've been remote the last year but they've been ramping it up to the point that I was doing 3 days in office and 2 days at home, but next week we all have to be in office for good. frown

But we're healthy for the moment and that means a lot, I guess. And I have a job even if I hate it. So things could be worse.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445443
04/29/21 03:30 AM
04/29/21 03:30 AM
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SmilingWife Offline
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Originally Posted by catperson
Hi all, things are ok. We're still in dire straits with money, hubby is always trying to cook up the next scheme to get rich while he barely charges more than cost for the electronics work he does for people. But he knows best. *sigh*

I was just offered an AMAZING job (work from home, even) but they were only offering $1200 more a year than my current job. I spent HOURS trying to make it work financially to even just break even, hubby even built a spreadsheet to help me, and it just came up $200 less a month than I'm earning now, for various reasons like healthcare costs. So I turned it down, as we can't even afford our bills as is; he saw how distraught I was and asked me if we weren't having money problems would I have taken it and I said absolutely! So maybe that will stick in his mind about getting us out of this mountain of debt; I can't do it cos I have a steady paycheck that will never increase - he can get higher-paying gigs for his business if he'd try harder. But I'm also doing 5 or 6 side jobs as well to pay off the debt. Just getting old, you know? Good news is he's 66 so we have applied for his Social Security; that will be an extra $2700/month, a Godsend.

Granddaughter is 22 months old now. I haven't been watching her one day a week since last summer, but I try to find a reason to hang out with them at least once a week. Hubby is even more insistent on seeing her than I am. DD29 is depressed, her husband's been working a lot of overtime so she's basically raising the kid on her own, and he's not very demonstrative so she's having to tell him that she needs compliments and attention, her love languages. We'll see how that goes. But granddaughter is a hoot and QUITE the handful; she's really been a blessing in our lives.

House is more of a wreck than usual, with all of hubby's work stuff flowing out of the extra rooms and the den and the dining room. I'm thinking about renting a storage unit, cos I literally can't invite anyone over (even if I had friends to invite). DD29's in-laws moved into our neighborhood a few blocks away and they have one of those designer-looking houses, on the lake; they've invited us over several times and I can't invite them over here because of all hubby's junk and because the house is falling apart.

Oh, and today is my very last day working from home; we've been remote the last year but they've been ramping it up to the point that I was doing 3 days in office and 2 days at home, but next week we all have to be in office for good. frown

But we're healthy for the moment and that means a lot, I guess. And I have a job even if I hate it. So things could be worse.


Hi Cat, so good to hear an update from you. So exciting about the grand baby. I can’t believe she is 22 months old already. Dss24 and wife had a baby boy August 28th. We have only got to see him once.

I hate it that you are stuck in a job you hate. I think you should have taken it.

Is your daughter working or does she get to stay home with the baby?

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: SmilingWife] #445444
04/29/21 12:51 PM
04/29/21 12:51 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
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catperson Offline OP
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She works at the same place I do, and she hates her job right now because they keep piling on more and more work and they won't listen to her when she tells them she literally doesn't have enough hours in the day to finish it - and of course they won't let her work overtime.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445445
04/30/21 03:25 AM
04/30/21 03:25 AM
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Blair Offline
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Congrats on the job offer, although I understand why you turned it down. Next time, ask for $X more so it will amount to the same end result in comparison

Wonderful that you get to see your grandbaby so much. Sorry to hear DD is a married single-parent. That sucks. I hope her H can figure out how to be more involved.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445446
04/30/21 02:44 PM
04/30/21 02:44 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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I asked for more money but they refused to raise the amount. I've been so upset about it that I got out of bed last night and wrote the HR guy to see if it was still open. It wasn't. frown

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445447
05/01/21 03:03 AM
05/01/21 03:03 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline
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Cat thanks for the update, so good to hear you all are in good health! Sorry to hear your daughter and her SiL struggling with overtime. I see my coworkers go through it too, management taking advantage of them because they see they feel vulnerable that they need their work more than ever. I have a new manager trying to set a new tone, bringing his baby on the remote calls, but that takes a level of confidence that he can’t be replaced. I’m glad DD has you all to help out but in the meantime 22 months and working full time is a huge challenge!

Good for you for getting out there and seeing what jobs are available. I hope you find one that will be a better fit and better pay. And I hope that social security takes some financial pressure off. Did you get your real estate license?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445450
05/01/21 02:16 PM
05/01/21 02:16 PM
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Blair Offline
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Keep working on finding another job you love. Things you love to do that aren't a burden to your soul. I also hope you can find a job that is a better fit and better pay. I cannot understand why your H doesn't choose better and why you have to quietly tolerate.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445474
05/05/21 04:07 AM
05/05/21 04:07 AM
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Oblivious2678 Offline
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Keep swimming, Cat! smile

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445476
05/05/21 02:32 PM
05/05/21 02:32 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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I did get my real estate license, and the guy who wanted me to get it so I could close the houses for him doesn't need me anymore, cos I took so long; he got someone else to do it. But my husband has someone else who said I could work under him and do his open houses and get a cut that way, which is all I really want to do anyway. Just have to find time to go meet up with him.

Blair, Mr Cat has always been like this; it's literally how his brain works. He puts 150% into his work but takes twice as long to do his work as a normal person would (think taking 8 hours to prepare a PowerPoint presentation), and then believes he is 'stuck' because he's so overworked. So in his mind he can't be doing anything any differently. And he does listen to me when I tell him to charge more for his services or do some things differently to earn more money. He did surprise me yesterday; I told him I needed $1500 for bills and he actually put the money in my account.

I'm so sick about that job, though. A week later and I'm still grieving it. I should have taken it and made Mr Cat come up with the extra money; which his Social Security will be helping with anyway. Work at home, doing editing, which I love, people I enjoyed...I really don't think if I have to do an in-person interview that anyone else will hire me cos my 62 years are in full force in the wrinkles on my face and neck. Nobody wants to hire someone that old. But I'm going to keep looking.

Thanks, Obl. It's great to hear from you. I hope your situation has gotten better. Did you ever decide you like your job?

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445477
05/06/21 12:29 PM
05/06/21 12:29 PM
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Blair Offline
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Mr. Cat needs counseling to retrain his brain. Has he been through a full psych eval? He may have a connectivity issue in his brain that prevents the follow through or adds to his stuck feeling. I know he's been like that his whole life. I just don't understand why he stays stuck, why he keeps doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. It's so disconnected and selfish.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445478
05/06/21 06:38 PM
05/06/21 06:38 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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I've long said he has the Right Man Syndrome. He literally believes he is right. All the time. Except when he isn't; then he just glosses over the 'mistake' and goes back to believing he's right about everything. So, like, the way he takes 8 hours to do a PowerPoint, in his mind, it's just what you do when you have to make a slide deck. And if you question him, he gets irate. If you tried to tell him he needs counseling, he literally wouldn't understand why you would think that. It took me a long time to let go of how he does things.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445487
05/08/21 12:40 AM
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Blair Offline
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I admire your patience and fortitude. If a job like that comes along again, take it. No questions asked. You have worked hard for so long. Hugs!

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445493
05/09/21 02:37 AM
05/09/21 02:37 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline
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Congratulations on completing the real estate course! I hope it helps! And that the right thing pops up for you soon. A forth of my team at work has left for new opportunities now that so much remote work is available.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #445498
05/11/21 12:09 AM
05/11/21 12:09 AM
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Cat, the job is just a job right now. I have been positioning myself for a Project Manager gig. I’m patiently waiting for that opening. I hope you find that great job you love soon.

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